One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was letting go of what I wanted … what I thought I needed at that moment for what I wanted my life to be about. And the person I wanted to become. What do you do when everything you stand for is lost in a cluster of trivial wishes and desires?
When you truly crave something so close to you, right there at your fingertips waiting for you to grab it, but a voice inside your head tells you that if you do so, you’ll lose yourself – that’s when your strength is being tested.
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- What do you do when you forget what you want most because of what you want now?
- How do we fight that temptation and keep on walking only with the hope there might be something better suited for you out there?
- How do you fight the fear that this right here, this is it, and there’s nothing more?
The only thought that ever worked in pushing myself further is remembering that for good things to find their way to me, I must first believe I deserve them. This question became my filter, my North star: “Do I feel at this moment I deserve what I want?” If the answer is “no”, chances are what is tempting me right now is only a manifestation of my own lack of trust and confidence. To feed my ego’s negative tendency to validate the idea that “life is unfair” and give into my short term wants.
Essentially we all want to stand out in the most sublime way, to be seen and appreciated, but at the same time to still be able to keep the pretense that this isn’t something that we wanted. That doesn’t make us modesty heroes, it simply pushes us to deny our creative madness and share our unique view on… well, everything. Embracing our needs, defending our right to have them met and believing we deserve to have them fulfilled is what creates the freedom for others to do the same.
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Life is unpredictable. Without a North star to guide us, we try to plan it, to control it. Not realizing we’re pure chaos thrown into a foggy maze trying to find your way out by pretending we are normal. That’s madness, our daily madness because being ordinary is not compatible with our human nature. It denies the right for us to play a part in our own story.
Someone once told me: “You cannot be a supporting character in your own story.” I always kept this with me because it’s a reminder that I can only be the main character in my story. And the main character always finds her/his way to happiness.
When you realize you cannot be anything else but the main character in your story, you become free. You get the strength to choose forever over now.
Signed,
Courage, Love, Freedom
A Choice Away 